Brendan Hansen Online: No news is good news....

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

No news is good news....

Unless you're here looking for news anyway, and I got nuthin'.

So let's play a game of Marry, Shag or Cliff. For those of you new to this game, it's pretty simple. Out of each grouping of 3, choose one to Marry, one to Shag and the third poor bastard gets tossed over a Cliff.

1. Aleksander Popov
2. Mark Foster
3. Lenny Krayzelburg

1. Jose Martin Meolans
2. Markus Rogan
3. Jason Lezak

1. Brendan Hansen
2. Chosuke Cheatajima
3. Ed Moses

1. Klete Keller
2. Gary Hall, Jr.
3. Ryk Neethling

1. Ian Thorpe
2. Michael Phelps
3. Ian Crocker

1. Michael Klim
2. Grant Hackett
3. Matt Welsh

1. Aaron Peirsol
2. Ryan Lochte
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie

90 Comments:

Popov - Cliff Hansen - Marry(Of Course)
Foster - Shag Cheatajima - LOL Cliff
Krayzelburg - Marry Moses - Shag

Meolans - Cliff Keller - Shag
Rogan - Marry Hall, Jr. - Cliff
Lezak - Shag Neethling - Marry

Thorpe - Cliff Klim - Cliff
Phelps - Marry Hackett - Marry
Crocker - Shag Welsh - Shag

Peirsol - Shag
Lochte - Cliff or if possible can I shag him too?
Hoogenhottie - LOL again Marry

By blairbecky, at 11/17/2004 8:03 PM
I get to be the first one? OK; CIA Michelle, you're mean!
Brendan, if you're reading this. Since you were not sure how to play this when we asked you... this is the way, cariño.

1. Aleksander Popov: Marrying Sasha, boyfriend was my first total swimming crush outside Latin America (Borges, Scherer, Minelli) 9 years ago in 1996.
2. Mark Foster: Foster, you took the gold from my Jose at WC, I'd make you pay in bed for that one.
3. Lenny Krayzelburg: Lenny, hun, you're great but in really bad company, so I'm cliffing you-

Gotta love the "oldies".
1. Jose Martin Meolans: Marrying Meolans: We are from the same country and I wanna dance cuarteto with him.
2. Markus Rogan: Markus the Fair would be my shag of the day (week, year, etc).
3. Jason Lezak:I cannot cliff a member of the almighty relay. I cannot. Mean Michelle...
This one is really, really mean!

1. Brendan Hansen: Pumpkin, wanna marry me? I clean, cook, do the laundry, you just be gorgeus and swim.
2. Chosuke Cheatajima: The one that shall remain nameless is burning in Hell after the cliff.
3. Ed Moses: I'd pass on Moses. Thanks

This one is a no brainer.
1. Klete Keller: Shag
2. Gary Hall, Jr.: cliff
3. Ryk Neethling: Marry

1. Ian Thorpe: Thorpe, you were one of my first crushes, so I'd shag you.
2. Michael Phelps:Phelps, you're off the Cliff. You do anything for me and never will (and you took away golden google awards that belong to the Trio).
3. Ian Crocker: But I'm marrying Crocker. He looks damn fine in a tux and has great hands. And swims fly beautifully

1. Michael Klim: Cliff.. he scares me. I do like his Girlfriend though
2. Grant Hackett: I'll marry him
3. Matt Welsh: Shag by default

Are you trying to kill me?
1. Aaron Peirsol: Marry, I always marry the Trio
2. Ryan Lochte: I'm not cliffing him, since I'd pass on Moses, Ry Ry is my wild car
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie: Lieveling Hoogie, he bent uistekend! You, me, my beautiful Amsterdam and a bed.

So, this is how you play it! (CIA Michelle, edit this if it is too long)

By Lena, at 11/17/2004 8:07 PM
1. Aleksander Popov - Marry
2. Mark Foster - Shag (Yeah baby, yeah!)
3. Lenny Krayzelburg - Cliff (sorry kiddo)

1. Jose Martin Meolans - Shag (he's feisty)
2. Markus Rogan - Marry
3. Jason Lezak - Cliff

1. Brendan Hansen - Marry - (Like, DUH m'kay?)
2. Chosuke Cheatajima - Cliff
3. Ed Moses - He looked good in a Speedo

1. Klete Keller - Cliff
2. Gary Hall, Jr. - Shag
3. Ryk Neethling - Marry and give US citizenship and get him on OUR team

1. Ian Thorpe - Shag constantly in poolboy/gardener capacity
2. Michael Phelps - Cliff (sorry kid, the teenies will catch you)
3. Ian Crocker - Marry (mom & my Maine relatives will dig him)

1. Michael Klim - Cliff (still too Carville-esque)
2. Grant Hackett - Marry and shagalot
3. Matt Welsh - Shag

OK, this one is *so* unfair and wrong on so many levels!

1. Aaron Peirsol - Shag for as long as possible (before his girlfriend gets annoyed)
2. Ryan Lochte - Cliff (you're still cute, Ryan!)
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie - Marry and shag (not really caring if his girlfriend gets annoyed)

By Verbal, at 11/17/2004 9:24 PM
Ohhh fun! Ok, I'll play! =)

1. Aleksander Popov - Cliff - i dunno, never liked him.
2. Mark Foster - Shag. Great eyes and I like a man who says "privacy" with a short i sounds (like priv-uh-sea instead of pry-vuh-sea)
3. Lenny Krayzelburg - Marry cuz he's just a cutie pie

1. Jose Martin Meolans - Shag, I'm a sucker for the blue eyes!
2. Markus Rogan - The boy went to Stanford so I know he's smart. I need someone smart to keep me going.
3. Jason Lezak- Oh no, I hate to do it, but cliff..sorry Jason, love ya but ya gotta go!
(Lena was right. This was a mean one!)

1. Brendan Hansen - Marry me, Handsome! I am smart, and an awesome cook. I will take you to a tropical island for our honeymoon. I love to go camping (There is only 1 sleeping bag though, hope that's ok!) and I don't care if you hunt, everyone in my family hunts. See you fit right in! :) I am a leo, so I can't promise there will be no drama, but I'll try! And I can make you laugh with my stories of breaking into the zoo, and I have a very funny knock-knock joke involving an interrupting cow! Oh, and I hate spiders, but if we see one, I'll protect you! =)
2. Chosuke Cheatajima - Off the cliff so fast he won't have time to do a dophin kick!
3. Ed Moses - Shag, but I'd rather save myself for Brendan! (See what a faithful wife I'd be!) LOL!

1. Klete Keller - Shag. That's a tall drink of water right there!
2. Gary Hall, Jr. - Cliff
3. Ryk Neethling - Marry

1. Ian Thorpe - Shag. Probably my oldest swim crush. Oh and, he probably says Priv-uh-sea too! LOL!
2. Michael Phelps - Cliff. You might be a boy wonder, but umm..no, no, no! I am not the least bit attracted to you! Sorry!
3. Ian Crocker - Marry. He looks damn good in a tux and all scruffy. He does have great hands and eyes. And he's from Maine, so he's probably a Red Sox fan so we'd have fun going to games together. Oh, and he sings and plays guitar! Love that!

1. Michael Klim - Cliff. He kinda scares me too.
2. Grant Hackett - Shag. He's always with the ladies so I could never trust him as a husband, but he's sexy!
3. Matt Welsh - Marry. He's a cutie and he'd probably be more reliable than Hackey.

1. Aaron Peirsol - If Handsome won't marry me, maybe Aaron will. I can make you KILLER chocolate chip pancakes in the morning! ;)
2. Ryan Lochte - Cliff Sorry Ry-Ry, but I secretly put a trampoline at the bottom and Kaitlin will be waiting with a getaway car to lead you to safety!
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie - Shag, but I get to call him Pey-tah! LOL!

By Stephie Mc, at 11/17/2004 9:45 PM
1. Aleksander Popov: shag
2. Mark Foster: cliff
3. Lenny Krayzelburg: marry, definitely. He's adorable! I absolutely love that picture of him with Minnie Mouse at Disneyland.

1. Jose Martin Meolans: shag
2. Markus Rogan: marry
3. Jason Lezak: cliff =( sorry

1. Brendan Hansen: marry!!! (by far, the easiest choice so far)
2. Chosuke Cheatajima: cliff
3. Ed Moses: shag, I guess...

1. Klete Keller: shag
2. Gary Hall, Jr.: marry
3. Ryk Neethling: cliff

1. Ian Thorpe: cliff
2. Michael Phelps: shag, though he's a bit young.
3. Ian Crocker: marry

1. Michael Klim: cliff
2. Grant Hackett: shag
3. Matt Welsh: marry

1. Aaron Peirsol: shag
2. Ryan Lochte: marry!
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie: crap. It's a toss-up with Peirsol.

That was pointless, but fun. I look forward to reading other people's!

By Jen, at 11/18/2004 2:24 AM
I am going to refrain from playing this game in the manner I play at OG. Because everyone on this list is a fan of Brendan and they will without a doubt read this, as will Mom and Auntie "C". And if by chance we accidently meet in Montreal, I want them all to smile at me.

Okay here goes.

1. Aleksander Popov--- Aleks is married already so.... this is a fantasy right? Shag!
2. Mark Foster---mmm..... Michelle! [/whine] cliff.
3. Lenny Krayzelburg--- I have looked into his eyes and I just think I'd like to marry him! And such a pretty stroke.

1. Jose Martin Meolans--- Oh Pepe!! Shag!!
2. Markus Rogan---Marry because he has Aaron's back! He is loyal..
3. Jason Lezak-- Jason is a newelywed. Out of respect for his beautiful wife. I will cliff hi, but after they are no longer newlyweds.... Shag!!

1. Brendan Hansen---Marry so I can see his tatts any time I want. And he is funny. Always a good trait in a mate! My toiger! grrrr.
2. Chosuke Cheatajima---Puhlease! I'll cliff him so he can use that good healthy doplhin kick to swim away forever.
3. Ed Moses--- Shag so he feels loved again.

1. Klete Keller---Although you held off my Thorpey, you did it for team USA so I will marry you. You tall tall boy. (Let the hair grow back)
2. Gary Hall, Jr.---Eww. Before I cliff him. I will smash him like a guitar. (Bad form Asshat!)
3. Ryk Neethling-- Pretty eyes get the shagging!

1. Ian Thorpe--- I will always marry Ian. Because of Ian, I know who Brendan and the rest of these hotties are. I know it doesn't make sense but it all starts somewhere.
2. Michael Phelps---Michael, Oh man, I found so much respect for you after seeing you at SWtS and the way you interacted with your fans, especially the children, but you are still one yourself, so pack a parachute! Cliff.
3. Ian Crocker--- Yes I will marry you. I care for you enough that I announced to all of Disneyland at the top of my voice that I wanted you to kick Michael's ass at Indy. Even while surrounded but his adoring fans... (yeah, I was scared, but I did it any way!)

1. Michael Klim--- Hee hee Shag and shave!
2. Grant Hackett--- Marry a man with staying power. He can go the distance!
3. Matt Welsh---Sorry Matt. You swim well so you will be fine.

This one sucks.
1. Aaron Peirsol---Marry. I will make him lose the fugly shirts and hats though, unless he is actually at the beach then he can wear anything he wants.
2. Ryan Lochte--- Ry-Ry is very young, although I can tell by his eyes that he is trouble and fun.. but way too like a newphew. Fly free little bird. Cliff.
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie--- Well he is dutch. Shag the dutch! They are so sexy, and since this is just for fun... throw in Inge too!

By lala, at 11/18/2004 4:10 AM
lala, I see that you manage to almost made it. I'm pretty sure no one woudl turn their back on you in Montreal. And you love Pepe, always a plus. And you have all my respect for saying that to Ian C. I would have done the same

By Lena, at 11/18/2004 7:01 AM
Disclaimer: It's all in fun, should any of the cliffed swimmers stumble upon this, please don't take personally! =)

And I too will be playing differently than I do at OG.

1. Aleksander Popov - Shag
2. Mark Foster - Cliff
3. Lenny Krayzelburg - Marry (unless his wedding already happened - congrats!)

1. Jose Martin Meolans - Cliff
2. Markus Rogan - Marry
3. Jason Lezak - Shag

1. Brendan Hansen - Marry - it's a site dedicated to Brendan, do you really think there's any other answer to this question?
2. Chosuke Cheatajima - Cliff - hee, nice nickname, Michelle!
3. Ed Moses - Shag

1. Klete Keller - Shag
2. Gary Hall, Jr. - Cliff
3. Ryk Neethling - Marry

1. Ian Thorpe - Shag
2. Michael Phelps - Cliff
3. Ian Crocker - Marry

1. Michael Klim - Shag
2. Grant Hackett - Marry
3. Matt Welsh - Cliff

I agree this one is SO unfair
1. Aaron Peirsol - Marry
2. Ryan Lochte - Shag (can't do anything else after meeting him in Indy!)
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie - Shag
There will be no cliffing here. Although if I have to cliff one, there will be a lot of crying, followed by a coin flip and the loser gets to stay anyway as my poolboy. So there!

JHD

By Anonymous, at 11/18/2004 8:38 AM
JHD, how could you cliff Jose? I mean, you found lunfardo nice, imagine him whispering that to you.
And as usual, we never play this by the book. ;)
I echo JGD's statement. The ones we cliff, please do not take it personally. Except for you Cheatejama. You take it personally cause it is.

By Lena, at 11/18/2004 8:53 AM
I've always played where the person you marry, you can't shag, which makes the game more difficult. So I'm going to play that way...

1. Aleksander Popov - Marry.
2. Mark Foster - Cliff.
3. Lenny Krayzelburg - Shag.

1. Jose Martin Meolans - Since I don't know who this is, he's going over the cliff.
2. Markus Rogan - Shag. No questions.
3. Jason Lezak - Marry.

1. Brendan Hansen - Marry.
2. Chosuke Cheatajima - Cliff. Gee, ya think?
3. Ed Moses - Shag. I've always been in love with that guy.

1. Klete Keller - Cliff.
2. Gary Hall, Jr. - Marry.
3. Ryk Neethling - Shag.

This is a tough one...
1. Ian Thorpe - Cliff. He seems too full of himself anyway.
2. Michael Phelps - I want a Range Rover, and he's my ticket for one.
3. Ian Crocker - Shag. I have my theories about him, and I suspect I'm right...

1. Michael Klim - Marry.
2. Grant Hackett - Cliff.
3. Matt Welsh - Shag.

1. Aaron Peirsol - Shag, shag, sleep, shag some more. I can not express how much shagging would be going on. Hehe.
2. Ryan Lochte - Cliff. He doesn't do it for me.
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie - Marry.

By Anonymous, at 11/18/2004 10:11 AM
1. Aleksander Popov - Shag
2. Mark Foster - Shag
3. Lenny Krayzelburg - Shag

1. Jose Martin Meolans - Shag
2. Markus Rogan - Shag
3. Jason Lezak - Shag

1. Brendan Hansen - Shag, cook him breakfast, Shag him again. Repeat.
2. Chosuke Cheatajima - CLIFF!
3. Ed Moses - Shag

1. Klete Keller - Shag
2. Gary Hall, Jr. - Shag him, THEN cliff him.
3. Ryk Neethling - Shag

1. Ian Thorpe - Shag
2. Michael Phelps - Shag
3. Ian Crocker - Shag

1. Michael Klim - Shag
2. Grant Hackett - Shag
3. Matt Welsh - Shag

1. Aaron Peirsol - Shag
2. Ryan Lochte - Shag
3. Pieter van den Hoogensmoochie - Shag

I don't know what ya'll are upset about - that was easy.

By Michelle, at 11/18/2004 10:41 AM
You ladies crack me up!

By Brendan Hansen, at 11/18/2004 2:16 PM
Brendan, Pumpkin, I'm glad we entertain you.
And CIA Michelle, you're not playing fair! You only get ONE wild car!

By Lena, at 11/18/2004 2:29 PM
1. Aleksander Popov: Cliff. Eh.
2. Mark Foster: Shaggggggggggg.
3. Lenny Krayzelburg: Marry.

1. Jose Martin Meolans: Cliff, by default. (I still love the pretty!)
2. Markus Rogan: Maaaaaaarry. And invite Aaron over so we can all... play.
3. Jason Lezak: Shag? He's more the marrying type though. Whatever, I'll marry them all!

1. Brendan Hansen: Marry.
2. Chosuke Cheatajima: OMGZ TOTALLY MARRY! (I'm sooo kidding, y'all. I swear)
3. Ed Moses: Shag!

1. Klete Keller: Cliff. Sorry, White Strings.
2. Gary Hall, Jr.: Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaag me. (When did he start to grow on me? This is a problem.)
3. Ryk Neethling: Marry, by default.

1. Ian Thorpe: Oh god. this category is the evil one. Shag.
2. Michael Phelps: Sorry, Phelps. Cliff.
3. Ian Crocker: Marry!

1. Michael Klim: Cliff. Peace out, Mr. Clean.
2. Grant Hackett: Marry!
3. Matt Welsh: Oh, I should cliff him, since he's Aaron's competition. I'll shag him though, so he'll be too worn out to put any effort into his races. Muahha.

1. Aaron Peirsol: Marry every day, any day.
2. Ryan Lochte: Shag.
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie: Oh, god. Cliff? No. Shag.

By a, at 11/18/2004 2:31 PM
Oh God that wasn't really Handsome was it??! Cuz if it was..I just had a heart attack! LOL!

By Stephie Mc, at 11/18/2004 2:44 PM
1. Aleksander Popov- cliff (i mean his nickname is the russian rocket... that's only a good thing in the pool)
2. Mark Foster- shag
3. Lenny Krayzelburg- marry (that smile is so captivating!! i love krayzelburg!so sad that he's not coming back in 08)

1. Jose Martin Meolans- shag
2. Markus Rogan- marry
3. Jason Lezak- cliff (sadly someone has got to go...)

1. Brendan Hansen- marry (DUH)
2. Chosuke Cheatajima- cliff (DUH!!!)
3. Ed Moses- shag (way to represent charlottesville ed!! hometown lovin!)

1. Klete Keller- shag
2. Gary Hall, Jr.- cliff
3. Ryk Neethling- marry

1. Ian Thorpe- marry (he and lenny are the reason i even got interested in swimming)
2. Michael Phelps- cliff (i'm sorry phelps, i do think you rock though, but sadly some one has to get thrown out)
3. Ian Crocker- shag (can't cliff anyone in the tx trio)

1. Michael Klim- cliff (he scares me a little...)
2. Grant Hackett- marry
3. Matt Welsh- cliff

1. Aaron Peirsol- marry (i love peirsol too!!)
2. Ryan Lochte- shag
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie- cliff

By Miss O, at 11/18/2004 2:47 PM
A doctor on the right for Stephanie, please.
And none of oyu found that funny b/c it's an Argentinean thing (a president was one giving a speech in the middle of a public square and then interrupted to ask for a doctor b/c someone had fainted. It's a classic Argentinean comeback)

OK, I'll shut up now.

By Lena, at 11/18/2004 2:50 PM
Lena is my hero!

And don't you dare shut up girl. You always entertain me! =)

By Stephie Mc, at 11/18/2004 2:55 PM
1. Aleksander Popov - Cliff.
2. Mark Foster - Shag.
3. Lenny Krayzelburg - Marry!

1. Jose Martin Meolans - Cliff, by default.
2. Markus Rogan - Marry!
3. Jason Lezak - Shag!

1. Brendan Hansen - Marry!
2. Chosuke Cheatajima - Cliff!
3. Ed Moses - Shag.

1. Klete Keller - Shag.
2. Gary Hall, Jr. - Cliff.
3. Ryk Neethling - Marry.

1. Ian Thorpe - Cliff.
2. Michael Phelps - Shag.
3. Ian Crocker - Marry!

1. Michael Klim - Cliff, by default.
2. Grant Hackett - Marry!
3. Matt Welsh - Shag!

1. Aaron Peirsol - Marry.
2. Ryan Lochte - Shag.
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie - Cliff.

By AimsRos, at 11/18/2004 3:02 PM
Can you all please stop cliffing the only Latin American Swimmer we had in this thing?
Pobre Pepe... me lo llevo de vuelta a Cordoba...

By Lena, at 11/18/2004 3:10 PM
1. Aleksander Popov-shag
2. Mark Foster-cliff
3. Lenny Krayzelburg-marry

1. Jose Martin Meolans-cliff
2. Markus Rogan-so adorable shag
3. Jason Lezak-marry

1. Brendan Hansen-hmmm this is a hard on Marry(of course)
2. Chosuke Cheatajima-cliff cliff and cliff some more
3. Ed Moses-shag

1. Klete Keller-shag
2. Gary Hall, Jr.-cliff
3. Ryk Neethling-marry

Man this one is hard until the golden goggles it would of been easy but thanks to Ian Crockers scruffiness this one is hard!
1. Ian Thorpe-cliff I hate to do that
2. Michael Phelps-shag
3. Ian Crocker-Marry the scruff is so great

1. Michael Klim-shag
2. Grant Hackett-cliff
3. Matt Welsh-marry

1. Aaron Peirsol- Oh man marry marry and marry some more
2. Ryan Lochte-shag shag Go Gators
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie-cliff

By Adeliepenguin11, at 11/18/2004 3:21 PM
I'm with Michelle - shag 'em all. What's up with all this marrying crap? Far too much commitment for me. Ask me again in 5 or 10 years and maybe that answer will change.

Oh, except for Hall (who may be a Longhorn, but he's not a Texas Ex, so the connection is tenuous enough for me to give him a good cliffing) and Dolphin Boy Kitajima (who, after I booted him off the cliff, could dolphin kick himself all the way down).

And the Go Gators comment stings a tad, in the wake of our recent loss to UF. But we were 5 and UF was 4, so I guess it was expected. Everyone get your Horns up, though - UT-A&M football game is right around the corner. 'Round my house, it's simply known as "T+1".

By Texas-Gal, at 11/18/2004 3:36 PM
Well we have to be good at something to replace how bad our football team was this season!

By Adeliepenguin11, at 11/18/2004 3:41 PM
Jumping in for some Bloggy fun!

1. Aleksander Popov: Cliff.
2. Mark Foster: Shag. He's a sexy bloke!
3. Lenny Krayzelburg: Marry.

1. Jose Martin Meolans: Shag.
2. Markus Rogan: Marry! I love me some Markus! Call me, Markus!
3. Jason Lezak: Cliff.

1. Brendan Hansen: Shag. More than once.
2. Chosuke Cheatajima: CLIFF.
3. Ed Moses: CHAT. Hee. I can't get past that tattoo. It's very unfortunate.

1. Klete Keller: Marry by default.
2. Gary Hall, Jr.: Shag. Whilst drunken.
3. Ryk Neethling: *ahem* CLIFF.

1. Ian Thorpe: Marry. (even though I am very mad at him right now)
2. Michael Phelps: Shag. Underage hottie, woot!
3. Ian Crocker: Cliff. With much regret.

1. Michael Klim: Cliff. Giaan will catch him.
2. Grant Hackett: MARRY! And shag a lot.
3. Matt Welsh: Shag. This is an unfair trio...

1. Aaron Peirsol: Shag. I do like the backstrokers.
2. Ryan Lochte: Cliff.
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie: Marry and move the Netherlands, stat.

By PuarKat, at 11/18/2004 3:43 PM
Good thing for me, we have real fútbol in Argentina. Although my team is losing like never before.

By Lena, at 11/18/2004 4:01 PM
Just as I follow lala's example in the O.G., especially in matters of decorum, so I will follow her example here.

1. Aleksander Popov is proven marriage material.
2. Mark Foster is going to get shagged by default, but I don't think he'll mind.
3. Lenny Krayzelburg can look for his type of woman at the bottom of a cliff.

1. Jose Martin Meolans isn't quite my taste, but I'll throw a parachute down the cliff with him.
2. Markus Rogan the Fair and I will live happily ever after.
3. Jason Lezak gets a shag from me, but only if his wife says it's okay. She's too cool for words.

1. Brendan Hansen can add me to his long list of prospective wives. Any thoughts about Utah, B-Man?
2. Chosuke Cheatajima can-- oh, wait. I can't say that here.
3. I don't know who Ed Moses is, but anybody is better than Mr. Dolphin Kicker Cheater Man Person.

1. Klete Keller isn't my taste, but he can get a free pass for a shag only after he fixes his hair.
2. Gary Hall, Jr. can go jump off a cliff. See also: Chosuke Cheatajima, above.
3. Ryk Neethling isn't really my taste. Do I have to marry him? /whine

1. Ian Thorpe and I will live in wedded beach-house bliss where I will wear his stupid plastic and pearl jewelry and do my best to ignore his taste in music. Or maybe I'll just buy industrial-strength earplugs.
2. Michael Phelps is too young for me, so he'll be coming around the mountain the short way.
3. Ian Crocker gets a coupon for a free shag from me, but he doesn't have to use it because I have lots of respect for his girlfriend. I want to be just like her when I grow up, complete with hot, lavender tie-wearing swimmer boyfriend.

1. Michael Klim's girlfriend is another of those women that aren't exactly a dime a dozen so he can use his "Get out of Marry/Shag/Cliff Free" ticket.
2. Grant Hackett can marry me. *bites tongue really hard*
3. Matt Welsh who?

1. Aaron Peirsol can shag me and I'll sneak lala in to tame that mane while he's sleeping.
2. Ryan Lochte's mane can't be tamed.
3. Pieter van den HoocannamedathawtDutchswimmer and I are a match made in Heaven. Too bad he doesn't know it yet.

By Bach-us, at 11/18/2004 4:49 PM
1. Aleksander Popov--shag
2. Mark Foster--shag
3. Lenny Krayzelburg--shag

1. Jose Martin Meolans--shag
2. Markus Rogan--shag
3. Jason Lezak--cliff

1. Brendan Hansen--shag
2. Chosuke Cheatajima--cliff
3. Ed Moses--cliff

1. Klete Keller--cliff
2. Gary Hall, Jr.--cliff
3. Ryk Neethling--shag

1. Ian Thorpe--cliff
2. Michael Phelps--OK, the only one I'd marry and take care of
3. Ian Crocker--shag

1. Michael Klim--shag
2. Grant Hackett--shag
3. Matt Welsh--cliff

1. Aaron Peirsol--shag
2. Ryan Lochte--shag
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie--shag

I agree, what's with all the marrying? I'm already married, thankyouverymuch--lisa

By Anonymous, at 11/18/2004 5:52 PM
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Ms of Arc, at 11/18/2004 6:05 PM
Yay. Another round of the best. game. ever.
1. Aleksander Popov- cliff
2. Mark Foster- shag
3. Lenny Krayzelburg- marry

1. Jose Martin Meolans- cliff
2. Markus Rogan- shag
3. Jason Lezak- marry

1. Brendan Hansen- marry...duh.
2. Chosuke Cheatajima- cliff
3. Ed Moses- shag?

1. Klete Keller
2. Gary Hall, Jr.
3. Ryk Neethling- shag
Coin toss between Lex and ShortBus.

1. Ian Thorpe- shag
2. Michael Phelps- cliff
3. Ian Crocker- marry

1. Michael Klim- cliff
2. Grant Hackett- marry
3. Matt Welsh- shag

1. Aaron Peirsol- marry
2. Ryan Lochte- shag
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie- cliff, by default

By Ms of Arc, at 11/18/2004 6:07 PM
I see a whole lot of cheatin. going on here...... What's with the shag, shag, shaggin?? You Big Old Cheaters! Brendan hates cheaters..... The rest of us had to cliff some foine individuals! (Well, except for AssHat/ShortBus and Cheatajima) About Aarons hair.... I like the big old curly mop look on him. Well he does need a little trim. By that I mean haircut. What I love though is that after all the cliffing and shaggin we have been doing , Tiger still calls us "ladies". Well some of us... So sweet!! That why we married him I guess! Well that and his.. let's just call it his form.

By lala, at 11/18/2004 8:20 PM
I'm not cheating...I'm a rebel baby!

By Michelle, at 11/18/2004 8:35 PM
Hee! Bach-us's "stupid plastic and pearl jewelry" response to IT cracked me up! I feel like I'm in the OG. Wait, where am I? ;)
I made myself a bloggy. What do I put in it? Hmmm, something to do at work tomorrow I guess! Also, awesome site Michele! Spread that swimmer love!

By PuarKat, at 11/18/2004 8:51 PM
Lala,
What are you mean by 'cheaters' exactly.....isn't bigamy legal?? ;)

(I kid because I love) :o)

By Maria, at 11/18/2004 8:54 PM
Hello Ladies. You have all been so entertaining and very fun to read! All of your personalities shining through. Another one of Brendan's aunts (posting anonymously) and I have been cracking up over your entries. What great and loyal fans you all are!!!

By Aunt "C", at 11/18/2004 8:58 PM
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Verbal, at 11/18/2004 9:16 PM
*waves to Aunt Of Brendan*

Lena - You know I didn't cliff Meolans! Me shag him long time.

Brendan - This is no joking matter. This is life or death! Well, maybe it's just a boredom killer when we're stuck at work, but hey, we're taking it seriously!

ETA: What is up with all of this HoogieCliffing AGAIN? I'll say it again: it's soooo wrong.

By Verbal, at 11/18/2004 9:19 PM
Remember, y'all, if you cheat, you're basically a Kitajima. That's what aaronpeirsol.org calls cheaters. You don't want to be a Kitajima, do you? (waves kickboard menicingly)

By a, at 11/18/2004 9:22 PM
This is so cool!

First, I just want to say you girls really are cool! Seriously, cool!

Second, I just think it's awesome that Brendan and his family enjoy us as much as we enjoy them. I think it's so awesome that his family is interested in and appreciates us, and that he himself does. It makes me feel like he's worthy of being admired... not just because of he is talented and gorgeous, but because of his personality, his sincerity, his sense of humor and the obvious character he has inherited from his family. You all are awesome.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled hilarity. This has been your daily mushy post! =) HAHA!

By Anonymous, at 11/18/2004 9:35 PM
For the record, I did not cheat. I passed on Moses, which gave me a wild card to get Ry Ry (until Kaitlin comes hiting me with her awards). I ain't no Cheatejama.

Aunt C and Aunt anonymous (sp?) I'm glad we entertain you.
And lala, what do you mean? We're all ladies in here...
stay away from the tequila until Thanksgivign please. I'm sure Aaron would give you some wine that day.

By Lena, at 11/18/2004 9:39 PM
And finally... stop cliffing Meolans or I'm gonna take some drastic measures. Remember, I have a bow and I know how to use it.

By Lena, at 11/18/2004 9:43 PM
After all this shagging,marrying and cliff diving I don't know how anybody has time to swim...lol. Sorry,Lena that I had to toss your man off the cliff. If I can have Brendan I would throw everybody else off the cliff. I might save Aaron and Ian but that's only because Brendan would be sad without them.

By blairbecky, at 11/18/2004 10:06 PM
Lena, I'm sorry about Meolans, but think of it as more Meolans for you. Was the parachute any consolation at all?

I was going to write "unspeakably stupid plastic and pearl jewelry" but since I've discussed the stupidity of the stupid plastic and pearl jewelry at length, I would have sounded stupid. I do that often enough without trying. I still fully support Thorpey's right to design whatever makes him happy, and most of all, his right to model it.

What? Is this Brendan's blog? When is he coming out with a line of designer swimwear and hunting gear, and more importantly, will he model it too?

Pssst… blairbecky, check your email.

By Bach-us, at 11/18/2004 10:57 PM
Ok, I was too lazy before to type out all my answers, but it seems like you guys are having a lot of fun, so here goes!

1. Aleksander Popov: Cliff. Seemed a bit cocky to me.
2. Mark Foster: I'm sorry, who?
3. Lenny Krayzelburg: Marry! I've had a swimcrush on Lenny since 2000! What? He's getting married this month you say? Well that's just silly!

1. Jose Martin Meolans: Shag I guess. Everyone else seems to like him.
2. Markus Rogan: I'm so torn. On one hand, he was a great sport and supported Aar-bear in Athens, but on the other hand, he's a Stanfurdian, while I'm a Golden Bear. Sigh, it'll never work out. Cliff. (Go Bears! Beat Stanfurd on Saturday!)
3. Jason Lezak: Marry. Great guy, and the Texas-Trio connection is definitely a plus.

1. Brendan Hansen: Marry of course! I'm Catholic too, and we can have a beautiful church wedding. Y'all are invited of course.
2. Chosuke Cheatajima: Cliff, with a hard kick in the you know what.
3. Ed Moses: Shag by default.

1. Klete Keller: Uh, marry by default.
2. Gary Hall, Jr.: Cliff. I bet he'll be making funny faces all the way down, haha.
3. Ryk Neethling: Shag. He has the coolest name.

1. Ian Thorpe: Cliff. This guy has bugged me since Sydney.
2. Michael Phelps: Shag. Hope he won't make me sit in the back seat.
3. Ian Crocker: Marry! Doesn't Ian seem like the marrying type?

1. Michael Klim: Shag
2. Grant Hackett: Cliff
3. Matt Welsh: Marry

1. Aaron Peirsol: Marry! I promise to get rid of the SOFs.
2. Ryan Lochte: Shag! Ry-Ry is awesome.
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie: Cliff. Sorry! If it's any consolation, you have great hair!

By Janine, at 11/18/2004 11:10 PM
OK, Janine... seriously. I'm catholic too. And if Sasha seems cocky to you, that is because he can back it up. Only swimmer in history to won the 50m freestyle and the 100m freestyle in two consecutive Olympics (1992-1996). Then he got stabbed (still looking for that scar) and still came back to swim.
Shocked? I told you Sasha was my eldest Swim appretiation.
And I'm not that mad at you for cliffing Meolans. It's just that is the only Latino we have in here.
We should add Thiago Pereira to the next round

By Lena, at 11/19/2004 12:42 AM
It's all well and good to be entertained, but even better to be entertaining. I think Brendan's family members should play Marry, Shag or Cliff too replacing Brendan's name with Chad Carvin so it doesn't get "weird" around the dinner table come Thanksgiving. I really meant to put Chad on the list anyway. So cute.

By Michelle, at 11/19/2004 12:47 AM
*Sigh*, I made it all day without playing, but I can no longer exercise the willpower. It's not like I have to be up for work in 5 hours or anything, no indeed. (Topic: more addictive -- heroin or this game? Discuss.)

1. Aleksander Popov
2. Mark Foster
3. Lenny Krayzelburg

Marry Foster. (I mean really, look at his website. Even HE thinks he's sexy.) Shag Lenny, cliff Popov.

1. Jose Martin Meolans
2. Markus Rogan
3. Jason Lezak

Marry Markus and have brilliant, talented, loyal children. Shag Jose (happy Lena?), cliff the newlywed to his bride, it only seems fair.

1. Brendan Hansen
2. Chosuke Cheatajima
3. Ed Moses

Need I bother answering the obvious? Marry Brendan and his busy schedule but leave plenty o' time for camping trips (mmm, smores), Shag Mr. Ed, cliff the dolphin.

1. Klete Keller
2. Gary Hall, Jr.
3. Ryk Neethling

Eh. I'm going to marry and shag Ryk, cliff the other two. I've always wanted to visit South Africa.

1. Ian Thorpe
2. Michael Phelps
3. Ian Crocker

Ian sandwich! Marry Crocker (maybe he'll inspire me to learn more than 5 guitar chords) and his snappy lavendar tie, Shag Thorpe whilst dodging the paparazzi (sp?), cliff all teenagers so as to not feel like a pedophile.

1. Michael Klim
2. Grant Hackett
3. Matt Welsh

Shag all if drunk. Cliff all if sober.

1. Aaron Peirsol
2. Ryan Lochte
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie

YO YO YO! Marry Aaron after he finishes college (cannot introduce husband as "junior in college" without laughing), politely suggest haircut before wedding, where we serve Penta water and Clos de Bois straight from the bottle. Shag Hoogie, cliff Ryan.

By crackinup, at 11/19/2004 3:51 AM
crackinup - Alas, this game is probably more addictive! Sad but true!

Oh, and i wanna go to your wedding to Aaron, Penta and Clos Du Boia = PARTY! =) HAHAHA

By Stephie Mc, at 11/19/2004 6:48 AM
You should definitely put Chad Carvin in next time. I think I turned into a slight stalker at SC Worlds over that man.

By blairbecky, at 11/19/2004 8:45 AM
Hey Michelle, thanks for considering the fact that Brendan's aunts/relatives would find it way too weird to play this game....but I can tell you and the other 'ladies' you have had us cracking up the entire day. I must have hit this site about 10 times. By the way, Lena, if I was to play this game, would never cliff your guy. We don't want any drastic measures being taken. As far as Montreal, we will all be there, make sure to intro yourselves if you go....we never ignore swimming fans....especially Bren's.....(Aunt K).

By Anonymous, at 11/19/2004 8:49 AM
Gah! I'm counting 5 Hoogie cliffs and 6 Thorpe cliffs!

I'll blame global warming. :-/

By Verbal, at 11/19/2004 10:01 AM
Adelie- you are forgiven for the Go Gators comment, because your football team does indeed suck. Hee!

lala- it's not cheating, it's playing smart. While the rest of y'all are driving yourself crazy choosing between the guys, Michelle and I will eliminate the difficulties and take them all (minus Dolphin Boy and Asshat Hall).

But I do have to say that as a Longhorn, Texas Ex and former employee of the Athletic Department, I get first dibs on all Longhorns. Sorry, kids- them's the breaks! Can you say- matching Longhorn tattoos?

Oh, and raise the roof for Catholics, y'all! I may be a Methodist, but I went to the University of Notre Dame for Law School, so that should count, right?

By Texas-Gal, at 11/19/2004 10:12 AM
Aunt K, I'd never actually use the bow against you. Not really. But it breaks my heart see the only swimmer I've actually seen in real life being cliffed. It's a patriotic thing. Adn I'd love to go to Montreal, but unfortunately, thirld world countries economies are not good for saving.
Thorpe and Hoogie are getting cliffed? Are they at least jumping together? (B12)

By Lena, at 11/19/2004 10:16 AM
just to let you guys know I got afford to do a abercrombie and fitch photo shoot today but Nike wouldnt let me do it because of my contract and wearing a different brand of clothing.....some beach

By Brendan Hansen, at 11/19/2004 10:27 AM
Ohh that sucks!!! Want me to get my bow? I'm good at aiming...
Hey, at least you can laugh with us in here. And now you know how to play the game.

By Lena, at 11/19/2004 10:32 AM
No, see, Brendan? Not getting an Abrocrombie shoot? Not a bad thing. Abrocrombie = The Devil. Rejoice in this!

By a, at 11/19/2004 10:38 AM
Damn Nike. Have they seen those catalogs? I am never sure if there's even clothes on the models, I usually see mostly naked people in there. =)

And it would have been VERY nice to see a big B&W blowup of Brendan everytime I go to the mall and pass by A&F. (It's not like I wear their clothes, I'm not waif-like by any stretch of the imagination. Hey clothing companies, grownups have curves! But I digress...)

So if Nike isn't allowing you to do the shoot, Brendan, then the only sensible thing to have you featured in a Nike shoot SOON. Then send us all the catalogs and pictures and whatnot. =)

By JHD, at 11/19/2004 10:50 AM
Dude- A&F may be the devil, but those ads are YUMMY.

By Texas-Gal, at 11/19/2004 10:55 AM
I don't really wear A&F but I can appreciate Hot when I see it. And the A&F catalogues? Porny. Very smart of them to try to get a swimmer in on the action! Sad for us that it won't happen. Um, Nike? Nudity sells! ;)

By PuarKat, at 11/19/2004 11:05 AM
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Stephie Mc, at 11/19/2004 11:21 AM
Cheese & Rice! That stinks! Not that I like Abercrombie that much, but I'd have fun plotting to steal me some Bren posters - now what will I do for fun??

Sorry you're disappointed! =( We are too!

By Stephie Mc, at 11/19/2004 11:56 AM
This sucks, but it's ok everyone! We'll see B-Man soon enough on VH1's Hot Bodies!

By Janine, at 11/19/2004 12:15 PM
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Verbal, at 11/19/2004 12:32 PM
Bah, who needs clothing endorsments anyway? We need to get Brendan a hot and fast car ad, if only to get Crocker all green with envy. Not an Escalade though, I insist.

Texas-Gal - Catholics (ahem! Such as myself) obviously rock, although IIRC Haverford/Havertown is Friends country so I'll give the Quakers a shout-out too. Holla, Quakers!

By Verbal, at 11/19/2004 12:34 PM
"Holla Quakers!" just made me laugh for about 15 minutes.

By a, at 11/19/2004 1:59 PM
OK OK, Mispells from Pumpkin (he has not complained about the nickname so until further notice, something like "Lena, I don't like being called Pumpkin") I can accept. But you, my ladies, have to know that is Hola!
And where's thic catholic meeting? I wanna be part of it.

By Lena, at 11/19/2004 2:14 PM
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Texas-Gal, at 11/19/2004 2:24 PM
Awww, our little Argentinian is trying to get us speakin' some Spanish! But it's gotta be 'holla', hola just doesn't hold the same punch.

By Texas-Gal, at 11/19/2004 2:26 PM
"Some Beach", 'Bren-Bren' likes country music?? I love that video, =).

As for this game, I've tried to refrain myself from playing it (mainly to protest the first one since they are all HAWT guys w/ accents, lol) but here goes....

1. Mark F.--Marry
Lenny K.--Shag like a fiend
Aleksander--Shag, then w/ deep regret...cliff

2. Jose M.--Marry in Spanish ceremony, ;)
Jason L.--Shag, :p
Markus R.--Cliff

3. Brendan H.--Marry & Shag (two for one special today)
Cheatajima & Ed Moses--Cliff

4. Klete K.--Marry
Ryk N.--Shag
Gary H.--Cliff

5. Ian C.--Marry
Ian T.--Shag then cliff, ;)
Michael P.--Cliff w/ Thorpie

6. Michael K.--Cliff
Grant H.--Cliff
Matt W.--Cliff

7. Pieter V.H.--Marry
Aaron P.--Shag until we can't shag anymore, ;).
Ryan L.--Cliff

By Maria, at 11/19/2004 2:36 PM
But it's gotta be 'holla', hola just doesn't hold the same punch.

Like Trashcan punch? ;)

However, the thought of Quakers trying to be street and/or Latino does crack me up. Almost as funny as Amish kids using gang signals. (I really have seen this) Yo, Westside!

By JHD, at 11/19/2004 2:40 PM
Now, now. Just to be informative, they aren't really like the Amish. Quakers exist in regular society and are pretty kickass (metaphorically of course, because they're mostly pacifists). They don't look like the guy on the Quaker Oats container. Here endeth your Quaker lesson of the day. (What was I thinking when I brought up Quakers in a M/S/C thread anyway?)

If you need more Quaker info you can get it here:
http://www.quaker.org.uk/faqs.html

By Verbal, at 11/19/2004 2:52 PM
Oops. I stand corrected, thanks Verbal.

See, Brendan's fansite really IS educational and informative!

By JHD, at 11/19/2004 2:57 PM
What up, Westside! Holla! [/gansta]
So it's Amish kids and Ian Thorpe with the gang signs? Hee!

Maria cliffed Markus. What is that? Markus can't be cliffed! I doth protest!

By PuarKat, at 11/19/2004 3:21 PM
OK, I stand correct. But come on, how am I supposed to know those slangs of yours? At least give me credit for writing in a language that is not mine. Or start to undust Babelfish cause I'll start posting in lunfardo.

By Lena, at 11/19/2004 4:01 PM
Or start to undust Babelfish cause I'll start posting in lunfardo.Nooooo eville Babelfish please!

We appreciate you Lena. You have better English than me (I?).

By Verbal, at 11/19/2004 4:53 PM
I like the video too,Maria. He's another cutie with blue eyes but I could do without the locks. Any man who has longer hair than me is just not attractive in my eyes. Personal opinion only.

By blairbecky, at 11/20/2004 7:44 AM
Puarkat: I cliffed him so that you could do all that you please with him sweety, ;).

Blairbecky: I agree, the hair on this singer *forgot his name* is too long for my taste but I do like his music, =).

By Maria, at 11/20/2004 9:19 AM
Have you all play yet? Then we need the stats... Where's atrophy with the stats? And the graphic?

And after doing the ultimate round at OG, this wasn't so hard after all.

By Lena, at 11/20/2004 3:02 PM
Great site! Finally decided to delurk to play my favorite game:

Aleksander Popov - My first Olympic crush. Marry.
Mark Foster - Foster=British for cliff.
Lenny Krayzelburg - Shag.

Jose Martin Meolans - Say hi to Mark Foster. Cliff.
Markus Rogan - Marry.
Jason Lezak - Shag.

Brendan Hansen - And do I have to choose between marry and shag?
Chosuke Cheatajima - The cliff off the 9th level of hell (the first eight were already full).
Ed Moses - Depends on what happens with Brendan.

Klete Keller - Shag.
Gary Hall, Jr. - Whoops! Watch out for that cliff.
Ryk Neethling - Marry.

Ian Thorpe - Say g'day to the cliff, mate.
Michael Phelps - Once he turns 21, shag.
Ian Crocker - Marry.

Michael Klim - He's shagadellic.
Grant Hackett - Marry.
Matt Welsh - Uh, may I keep him and toss Thorpe over the cliff again?

I can't cliff Aaron, Ryan, or Pieter. That's just too mean. *cries*

By bitter_sweet, at 11/20/2004 7:39 PM
What's up with that?? You'll cliff Thorpie twice.. but you dont play the last round at all?? Cheeeeater!! Bitter Sweet!! Boo!!!! (Quit cliffing Thorpe y'all!) Twice??!!!

By lala, at 11/21/2004 3:15 AM
Sorry, lala. Couldn't be helped. Remember, I've got front row seats in Montreal. Since there's talk your boy may not show, he gets the cliff - twice. And maybe 'once more, with feeling' for the last group, just because I can. ;)

Besides, I'm a little distracted because I can't decide about the marry/shag thing about Brendan (I'm leaning toward both).

bitter_sweet

By Anonymous, at 11/21/2004 7:44 AM
Seriously bitter, I echo lala in here. Welsh over Thorpe? Since when. And I know what the rumour is about him not going to Montreal but you honetly think he's not going? *cough*Thoogie*cough*.

Morning everyone...

By Lena, at 11/21/2004 8:15 AM
I just can't build up any excitement for Thorpe. I just want to have lil' swimmer babies with Brendan. Is that asking too much??? LOL Sorry,got carried away. I actually wouldn't know what do with myself if I had babies period. I think I might have to mature alot more before then. Maybe in 5 or 10 years. Brendan, will you be available then? Just let me know. :p

By blairbecky, at 11/21/2004 9:11 AM
Ok, y'all have just not lived until you've spent Iron Bowl weekend at the old folks home - er, I mean "Assisted Living Facility". The HIJINKS!

These answers belong to my grandmother's neighbor Irona and her roommate Kay.

1. Aleksander Popov - He's handsome, but they don't think they could take the Russian winters. Shag.
2. Mark Foster - Cliff. They don't think he looks like a nice man.
3. Lenny Krayzelburg - Marry because he swims for our team. USA!

1. Jose Martin Meolans - Kay loves latin men (her husband was latino) and she says Marry but Irona says Shag only.
2. Markus Rogan - Kay shags - Irona cliffs
3. Jason Lezak - Irona Marry's (hubba hubba) and Kay cliffs. He reminds her too much of her uncle Sid and she didn't much like him.

1. Brendan Hansen - We have unaminous agreement on this category. Marry Brendan, cliff both the others. Not a fan of cheaters and ugly tatoos.
2. Chosuke Cheatajima
3. Ed Moses

1. Klete Keller - Looks like that bad guy from Superman. Cliff.
2. Gary Hall, Jr. - Irona says marry, Kay thinks he's only worth a shag.
3. Ryk Neethling - Irona says shag but Kay is in love with those green eyes. Marry!

1. Ian Thorpe - Nice mouth, nice eyes. Too tall. Shag.
2. Michael Phelps - Adopt
3. Ian Crocker - What a kind face, but looks 14. Adopt him too.

1. Michael Klim - No, no, no. Cliff. Unanimously.
2. Grant Hackett - Shag
3. Matt Welsh - Marry - they just like the way Mrs. Welsh sounds better than Mrs. Hackett

1. Aaron Peirsol - Looks like a Kennedy boy - Marry
2. Ryan Lochte - Adopt and give a proper haircut
3. Pieter van den Hoogenhottie - Dutch men are mama's boys and cheap (they are in agreement on this) - CLIFF

By Michelle, at 11/21/2004 2:36 PM
Laughing so hard right now. I loved the Adopt option!
And the fact that they love Jose!
Clever ladies, Michelle, clever ladies.

By Lena, at 11/21/2004 4:27 PM